Hello dear friends,

It’s not been my best week. I had so much planned too. You see, we are getting ready for a five-week holiday through the centre of Australia in our caravan next weekend and time is running out.  But, I got sick …  which led to two days in bed plus recovery time. Not a good time to be out of action.

insomnia cartoonIn the light of this, I was unable to sleep on Friday night and I propped myself up in the TV room and wrote in my trusty Poppy Journal about the situation

Friday 23rd August 2013

“It’s 3am  and sleep evades me so here I am writing. Strange really as I spent two full days sleeping after a vomiting bug. One minute I couldn’t keep my eyes open, now I can’t seem to close them! Even though I hate waking at this hour, the positive side of it is the absolute peace and tranquility one has during the night.

I can’t seem to hear myself think when I am surrounded by noise and activity, so I relish any time of enforced quiet. I take a keep breath and remind myself it’s not the end of the world that I’ve had little sleep. I’ll catch up later. When I left my bedroom, Geoff was battling an intruder in his dreams by shouting and flailing his hands trying to ward him off.

It’s a situation that occurs every few months until I wake him and tell him there’s no one there. But how do we know? Do we actually SEE real people in our dreams from the past? Geoff says “it’s the man at the window peering in … AGAIN!” Only this time, Geoff told me, the man was IN the room, not at the window.

A dream he has had since childhood. What does it mean? It’s like something evil trying to get him, he says.

I had a dream two years ago and I began to carry on just like Geoff was tonight. Trying to scream and wake up Geoff but I was paralysed by fear as a woman and a small child appeared at my bedroom door and smiled at me. She posed no threat but still, I thrashed and tried to yell for help. She walked to the end of my bed and smiled at me again.

fright

This was ME folks!

I was shaking with fright. I was sure this was no dream and that she had come for a reason. Later in the morning, I described her to Geoff and he recognised his sister-in-law and niece who drowned in a river many years before I knew him. We had been discussing the sadness of her situation. I believe she came to say she was happy and at peace.

My fear left me when I realised … but I still have no desire for her to visit me ever again!

Perhaps someday we will understand what all these things mean, but for now, we make do with half-explanations and get on with our lives. It’s bad enough that we see things in our waking hours that make no sense, without trying to work out what we see while we’re sleeping!

I want to be grateful for ALL of my life I’ve decided. You have to take the good with the bad; the sleep with the no sleep. The joy of having fun with your grandchildren with the sickness I got whilst minding a sick granddaughter.

“The sickness you got for love” a friend reminded me.

623-03663886I refused to be upset when I got it and even as I vomited – ever so inelegantly – through the night, I thought of sweet Violet (7) and it kept me sweet too.

Yes, indeed, I WAS grateful, even if it was by steely determination! The feelings of gratitude soon followed and I was glad. I will recover fully any day soon.”

And so it has come to pass that I am fully recovered now and do you know what dear friends? I did not suffer one single bit of excess tiredness the day after my four hours of sleep (yesterday) when I was minding the grandchildren again.

As we laughed heartily, made pink cupcakes and then watched Anne of Green Gables together that night, I was glad I’d made that decision to be grateful because it changed my perspective and gave me joy that I might not otherwise have managed if I was busy moaning about how little sleep I’d had and needing to rest or to go to bed early.

And as for that man in Geoff’s dream, who was IN the room and not OUTSIDE at the window as is his usual bent, I have some news. It turns out (after discussion with Geoff) that he was NOT a horrible man after all, but someone non-threatening who was trying to give Geoff a message about his life.

When Geoff realised this and we discussed the message, all that thrashing about and trying to call for help seemed rather pointless. We are strange creatures really aren’t we? We run in fear (awake or asleep) when faced with an unknown situation but once it has been faced in the cold light of day, we wonder what we were carrying on about after all …

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