At the end of the day yesterday I sat outside and wrote about my weekend. You know, some weekends are quiet and one simply goes through the motions waiting for Monday, but this weekend was quite the opposite. It was full of activity and went far too quickly.
So many thoughts were running through my head that I stopped to write about it in my Poppy Journal; there were lots of questions too coming and going. I came to no conclusions though … despite the questions. Sometimes, one needs to ask questions of life and it really doesn’t matter if you don’t find the answers!
One simply needs to LIVE the questions – as Rilke says – and keep going, knowing that one day understanding will come. Still, it always feels good, when too many things are happening in your life, to write about these things, as I did yesterday, to clear your head and try to make sense of it all:
Sunday 21st July 2013
“It is late afternoon and the last of the sun’s rays are beaming warmth through a gap in the trees as I sit in our garden eating area. The soup for tea is simmering away on the stove; the dishwasher has been emptied and the afternoon tea cups have been cleared away. Finally I now have some time to myself before we go off to Church tonight.
I love this time of day on the weekend! Why do weekends always ‘sound’ so different to week days? I’m not really sure, but it probably has something to do with Geoff being home and not at work. Also, weekends are often full of ‘children sounds’ pervading the atmosphere … only to fall silent during week/school days. Mower noises are another weekend sound as well.
It has been a good weekend, albeit busy at times. Tomorrow, life will go back to normal as Geoff heads off to work. I have mixed emotions about this, for even though I’ll be glad to get back into my weekly routine, I’ll miss having Geoff around for company.
On Saturday, we had a great adventure together at a Regional Food Festival in the inner city parklands of South Bank. Geoff and I enjoyed the delightful foods that were handed out by country folk who set up stalls to promote, present and sell their produce.
Lots of things were on offer: plump olives, huge pieces of rocky-road, German sausage to die for, yoghurt made from organic milk, holoumi goats cheese fried in oil and lentils made delicious by herbs and spices. Oh, I could go on! We tasted so many things that we could hardly eat lunch.
Later, we were joined by our daughter and grandchildren who found delight in the undercover “Food Imaginarium” as rain threatened. What a great name for a Kid’s Space! Here the children could watch cooking demonstrations geared for kids by real cooks, make things with paper, learn to decorate cupcakes or just hang out on bean bags.
When we came home in the afternoon, we compensated for being on our feet all day by watching far too many murder mysteries before going to bed! All night long, I tossed and turned trying to solve murders whilst watching a young woman get strangled repeatedly. It wasn’t good and I never did solve any murders or find the strangler either. However, Miss Marple already had … thank goodness!
Today has been more of a mixed bag of a day. It started well with a hospital visit to a friend who is doing well and deteriorated this afternoon by a phone call from a distressed friend; something that always puts a damper on things.
So, as I sit here enjoying the last of the sunshine and mulling on the events of the weekend, I am reminded that I need to find a quiet place within myself to come to during periods of busyness and trouble. It leads me to ask myself, “what is life really all about?”
I realise I am not Master (Mistress??) of my own destiny at all. I am reminded that my life rests in God’s Hands really and that I come and go at His Command. If I remind myself often enough, I know my ear will be attuned to hear the soft, small voice of God guiding my footsteps and directing my path.
Are my decisions my own … or are they the result of the guidance I receive? I really do not have all the answers to life’s BIG questions but I continue on doing the best I can and listening for inner direction as I go along. I’m simply ‘living the questions.’
But for now, as the last rays of the sun depart behind the houses nearby, I shiver and gather my coat around me for warmth. It is time to leave this delving into the meaning of life and go inside … to continue my journey in a warmer place.”
Yes dear friends, living the questions is perfectly okay as we go about our day to day lives. It enables us not to get stuck in the details. It enables us to embrace our lives whilst being open to having the questions answered … eventually. May we all have luck in this endeavour!
PS: My friend phoned back some time later with good news about her situation and now I feel so much better for hearing it.