I went down to my local shopping plaza yesterday and ran into two sets of neighbours. It was quite funny really but one neighbour had just returned from holidays and hearing of my sister’s passing asked me how I was going. I just happened to look across the centre and I saw a children’s ride called The Bubble so I replied: “Well, actually I am living in a Bubble at the moment!”
We laughed but she knew what I meant. I was doing things on remote and I felt protected as if I was in a bubble. Have YOU ever been living in a Bubble? I remember being in one when my mother and father passed away three days apart. I think I lived in that Bubble for about a good couple of weeks.
However, when the Bubble burst, all my feelings burst free and I seemed to spend more time crying then (and not coping at times) than when I was living in the Bubble. The thing is, I believe you live in this Bubble to protect yourself from emotions that are too hard to deal with immediately. It is a protective mechanism and one should stay in the Bubble for as long as is necessary.
You just have to be ready to face the reality that greets you when the Bubble bursts! It is then you face the music folks. My husband asked me “Do you feel guilty that you may have neglected your sister in these last months?” As she had moved to the country it wasn’t easy to get to see her and phone calls were more expensive so I knew what he was saying. Normally, in other years, we would be seeing a lot of each other but this year, it did not happen very often.
I had to reply to him “No, I don’t feel guilty.” He was surprised but I knew that I couldn’t allow myself to go into that place and go down hill into depression. I replied: “I don’t feel guilty because I know I am imperfect!” Well, he did laugh at that reply but the fact of the matter is: it is the TRUTH.
Accepting my limitations and my foibles gives me peace. When Margaret was near death, I thanked her for loving me despite these foibles and I knew that this too, was true. She HAD accepted me and loved me. Perhaps this is why I have no guilt. The funeral for my sister will be Monday afternoon. This will be the time to be with family, to grieve and to celebrate the life of this amazing sister of mine.
And while I continue on in my Bubble, I have become aware that it is not only those who grieve who live life in a Bubble. I know that my bubble will burst eventually and I will begin to feel and feel very strongly at that. But folks, it is a timely reminder that anytime we say that we cannot do something or that we’re too old to learn or we deny what is going on inside of ourselves, then we are living life in a Bubble! We are not facing reality.
There are times in life when we NEED to live in a Bubble to protect ourselves but there are ALSO times when we have to ask God to help us to pop that Bubble because it is stopping us from going where we need to go. I pray that we will all find the wisdom to know the difference …