Here I am back again. It seems that I may just be addicted to blogging and cannot keep away! It’s been a busy couple of days with condolences in phone calls and visits but somewhere in between it has given me a great deal of comfort to finish the verse I wrote about my sister Margaret.
I was unable to sleep when we returned from the hospital on Tuesday night so at around 4.30am as the daylight came in, I got up to view the sunrise. I thought this might help me sleep somehow.
You may know that I have received comfort from sunrises and sunsets in my life and it was no difference on this occasion. An amazing sunset the night before when my sister died was now followed by a lovely sunrise to herald in a brand new day. I got out my Journal and wrote. It’s the thing I know best to do when I need to express my feelings. It always helps.
Afterwards, I was able to sleep for a couple of hours. I had been comforted. I wanted to share the verse with all of my readers ‘out there.’ Perhaps I want to tell the world that I had an amazing older sister and that she died too soon at 72 years of age.
Perhaps I did not appreciate her enough until I knew I was losing her. I thought she would live until a grand old age. We only knew she was dying last Thursday night! It had been all too quick and I was unprepared. Yet, I got to journey with her until the end. No one could ask for more than that.
I was determined that I would not leave until I saw her safely across the line. My other sister and I wanted to see her go in peace as she had denied that she was dying – even up until that very morning. She died peacefully just before 6pm on New Years Day. It certainly was a new beginning for HER. I am glad … she had a hard life and some ill-health in the last few years. Here is the verse:
MY SISTER MARGARET … Lifted Up By Angels
Last night I saw a beautiful sunset
Just after my sister passed away.
Its brilliance displayed from a hospital window
We could not fail to see it
Glowing and radiant it surrounded us
As if God was sending comfort in our grief
Colour to adorn the darkness of our souls
Beauty to remind us our hearts would sing again
A promise of better things to come.
A vigil had been kept all through the day
Taking turns; being tactile: stroking and reassuring
Whispering words of love and comfort
Husband, sons, siblings and in-laws
One moment … solemn
Next … laughing at idiosyncrasies
Then weeping as the tale was finished
All the while Margaret slept
Each breath a struggle
And we prayed she would not linger.
Time to say what was needed:
Her last words spoken to me
Such an effort yet clear: “I love you too”
Toward the end I spoke to her
Charged with emotion I said what was in my heart:
“Margaret you were the wind beneath my wings
But I did not know it until now.
Thank you for loving me despite my foibles
You just kept on loving all of us
You know we are on this journey with you
And we will not leave you until it’s done …”
… And then it was.
The morning after her passing I got up to watch the sunrise
It was the dawn of a brand new day
The first without my eldest sister
After a night of sleeplessness
Tossing to and fro
Crying out to God for understanding
I dozed and dreamt of angels
A multitude of small playful angels
Floating through the air
Cherubs … ethereal with gossamer wings
And somewhere there amongst them
Margaret too was flying
I did not see her with the naked eye
But I sensed her presence there.
She was telling me ‘all was well
And legs that could not hold her up before
Were no longer needed now
And a familiar song was playing:
The one that had given peace to my second sister
Was playing now for ME!
“Lifted up by angels
Given wings to fly.”
And now this chorus would continue through all eternity.
My sister Margaret was safe at last
I was content
Understanding and revelation had been given:
Margaret had gone home to God
She was at peace
Indeed …she WAS lifted up by angels
And yes, she has been given wings to fly …
… by Tess Ross 2nd January 2013