four days to go

Four days of blogging to go …

Day 863 of 366 Blog Challenge 2012

Hello all

As I come to the computer to write today, I am feeling low in spirit. You see my eldest sister is very ill in Toowoomba Hospital, a good two-hour drive away, and as I have only been talking on the phone with her, I was not prepared for the shock of seeing her in person today.

She had resisted telling us the true nature of her illness and had discouraged us too from visiting. Not because she didn’t love us or we weren’t close but because she is very private about these things. However, we finally found out enough to know we must act and act quickly.

My brother, middle sister Jeanette and me were quite shaken by the deterioration we saw in our sister. However, we did our best to hide our distress and make her comfortable in whatever way we could. Jeanette fed her Big Sister Tomato soup which we made up in the kitchen microwave as she had no energy to feed herself or to even want to eat for that matter.

While Jeanette was feeding Margaret, I was massaging her feet as they were full of fluid and very painful. It was the least I could do as I watched my big sister fading away before my very eyes. What a pleasure it was to ease her pain in some practical way.

This sister, the eldest of us six children, was only seven when I was born number 5 in the family and was required to do far more for all of us than a seven-year old should be asked to do. Now, here I was ministering to her as best I could. It had been a difficult relationship between us … that is until we were adults when forgiveness and maturity gave way to a mutual understanding and sisterly love.

So dear friends, as I come to write on my blog today, it is hard for me to write about mundane subjects when my heart is breaking. Please forgive me as I pour my heart out in my distress. I am not prepared to lose my sister. A lot of questions are going around and around in my mind such as: how will my life be without her in it?

I am so glad my sister and I acted swiftly yesterday and arranged to visit Margaret in Toowoomba today because we may have had to live with regrets if we had left it any longer. I do not know how much time she has left but I do know that she is quite ill.

The thing is I could not have rested until I saw her for myself. I would not have been able to focus on anything else if I had not kissed her and held her hand, if I hadn’t read to her from an Inspirational Book “to be strong and courageous” or if I hadn’t massaged her feet and showed my love for her.

Leonardo da Vinci

Leonardo da Vinci

This reminded me of  a story told about the famous artist Leonardo da Vinci who couldn’t focus on anything until he sought to apologise to someone he had injured. It is a lovely story:

“According to the legend, some lads were visiting the famous artist. One of them knocked over a stack of canvases. This upset the artist because he was working very quietly and sensitively. He became angry, threw his brush and hurled some harsh words to the hapless little fellow who ran crying from the studio.

The artist was now alone again and he tried to continue his work. He was trying to paint the face of Jesus, but he couldn’t do it. His creativity had stopped. Leonardo da Vinci put down his brush. He went out and the streets until he found the little boy. He said, “I’m sorry son; I shouldn’t have spoken so harshly …”

He took the boy back into the studio with him. They smiled as the face of Jesus came quite naturally from the master’s brush. That face has been an inspiration to millions ever since.”

Sometimes, there are certain things that one just has to do to find peace …