Day 332 of 366 Blog Challenge 2012

Hello all

On Saturday morning, I was at the checkout of our local IGA supermarket when the young girl serving me turned to another young fellow working with her and said to him: (with a chuckle in her voice) “You’re an idiot!” I smiled to myself and said to the checkout operator: “That’s a great saying isn’t it?”

She looked at me with total surprise as if she had said it softly enough that I shouldn’t have heard and so she simply kept on scanning my groceries. Possibly she was embarrassed … or perhaps she felt she had been ‘caught out’ being unprofessional, but I wasn’t passing judgement. I was simply stating that when someone does or says something stupidly funny, an appropriate response often is: “You’re an idiot!”

It doesn’t mean you actually THINK they are an idiot, you simply mean it as a bit of fun that they are being silly. I use this same phrase to my brother who still thinks of me as the baby sister who he can say outrageous things to whenever we are together. I shake my head and say to him: “You’re an idiot!” so I knew exactly what was happening at that checkout.

Does where the inflection go make a difference? eg you ARE an idiot?

I found myself in the position of being an idiot myself on Sunday when my granddaughter Violet (6) said to me: “Grandma, I know how to spell DVD.” I replied “Oh really” completely immersed in her question. As she gave me the answer “Grandma, it is D-V-D” I was taken aback (she had meant it seriously!)

I shook my head and laughed loudly realising that I had been taken in, in a moment of distraction. Boy, did I feel an idiot then! But I did manage to laugh long and hard. And then last night, she added another one to her list of things she can spell. She said in all seriousness: “Grandma, I can spell TV too now.” By this time however, I was on my game and I said “Of course you can darling!”

Alice (11) was listening to all of this stuff about learning so she thought she should add that Violet was very excited about going into Grade 1 next year. I asked her why this was so? Alice replied in a serious voice “So that she can make her own toast at After School Care. You have to be in Grade 1 to do it.”

Learning to spell words that don’t need learning and now having this wonderful ambition to make her own toast, all reeks of “idiotic”  in the nicest sense of the word.

Billy who turned 70 this year

Now a person who we might want to use the ‘idiot’ phrase on is Billy Connolly the Scottish comedian who is so crazy sometimes that you feel like saying to him: “Billy, you’re an idiot!” and you mean it ever so nicely. His name is popping up on my blog today because I read an article about him in our Brisbane Sunday paper. As a prelude to a story in the paper, there was a little blurb in the front with a quote from Billy and it read like this:


“You mustn’t act your age. It’s a crime. Acting your age is about as sensible as acting your street number. It’s got nothing to do with what you are. All you need to do is avoid sad-arse trousers. Don’t dress like your Uncle Wullie (sic) . Don’t wear a beige cardie under a waistcoat …”  Billy Connolly.

All I could say when I read that was: “You’re an idiot Billy!” and I then turned to page 23 to read the full story. Simply couldn’t help myself as sometimes those we jokingly call idiots make us laugh so much we have to read more.

I totally agree with Rory about those Magnum icecreams

But, you would think I was through with idiotic nonsense by now, but no! In the same Sunday magazine, is an article on “Things men talk about (part 3)” by Rory Gibson whose column I have been following. Sunday’s contribution included this masterpiece:

“The problem with Magnum ice creams: The chocolate coating is brittle and large slabs break off easily. This is annoying on two fronts. First, you want to eat that chocolate coating. If it breaks off and you don’t catch it before it hits the ground, it is lost to you.

Second, this nightmare situation in a dark movie theatre. The coating breaks off and falls into your lap or on your shirt. When you come out into the light, it looks like a bat has shat on you. We all agreed this was an outrage and someone said they would write a sternly worded letter (to Magnum).”

Okay Rory, congratulations you’re officially an idiot too!” but I just love reading your column and I am sure I will be back for more. Thanks for the idiocy that makes me laugh every week.

So folks, when you tell someone they’re an idiot, don’t do it in the wrong way. You HAVE to really like the person; you have to know they can take it or you have to know them well. Then, you say it because you find them a laugh a minute and also because there is no other phrase in which  you can best express yourself and so you say with ease: “so and so ….  you’re an Idiot!”

Feels great every time …