Day 303 of 366 Blog Challenge 2012

Hello all

I woke up before midnight last night thinking I was having a bad dream filled with violence and abuse. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a dream at all it was happening right next door to our house.

I quickly woke Geoff as I could hear furniture being thrown, along with much shouting and swearing, including a woman’s pleas to: “don’t throw anything more at me!! Don’t hurt me!  I am sorry … I am sorry.”

How heart wrenching to hear such pleas for the violence to end? This is not the first time we have heard violence (with similar cries for help) at this house. Geoff phoned the police, who arrived very quickly. Shortly after, silence reigned and we soon slept.

However, it was a distressing period for those of us who have never experienced violence . The strange thing is, when I sat down to write today, I was planning to write about SHOES … you know after my fetish for taking photos of lovely shoes at our family wedding and then sharing them on my blog yesterday.

I was wondering “why do some women love shoes so much?” so I took to Google to find out more about the psychology of shoes. The very first headline that I came across surprised even me:

THE POWER OF SHOES (TM): SOCIETY OF WOMEN WHO LOVE SHOES
“HEALING FAMILIES OF ABUSE ONE SOLE AT A TIME”
Yes, this group is saying that SHOES HAVE POWER. Now this got me thinking.  Who would have thought of making a connection between shoes and violence? As I read, I began to understand the correlation between the two.

The Power of Shoes founded by (Dianne Samoff, the CEO of the organization) is a Texas-based organization. Through our various networking and social events, hosted by our community event group, The Society of Women Who LOVE Shoes, we raise awareness and promote change for these victims and survivors.

After escaping an abusive situation and trying to get a job, Dianne was given a suit and a pair of red heels to wear to an interview. Both gave her a sense of pride and hope knowing that she was moving forward into a new future.”
Now folks, do you understand this? Let me explain. Whenever you wear shoes that you love, you feel wonderful. This in turn improves your self-esteem and you then feel empowered to stand up for yourself, get help  or leave a violent situation. IT MADE PERFECT SENSE! The Society of Women who love shoes  know exactly what they are talking about it seems.
You know, when I was younger, I used to love high-heeled killer shoes and they did make me feel POWERFUL. I had shoes of every colour but they all had incredibly high heels. And now?  I can only bear to wear teeny tiny heels or else I lose balance. And in fact, even when I was working (three years ago) I was still wearing medium-sized heels … what went wrong?

Three of us ‘older’ gals with flat or tiny heeled shoes.

It seems that when you retire, you get used to being a SLOB folks! There, I’ve said it. You get used to comfort, for now I cannot bear to wear heels. I wonder if this has something to do with why older people feel dis-empowered??!

Perhaps wearing heels made you feel bullet-proof and able to do anything? Hmmm … I must look at this one more closely.
Now, while we are on this subject of the psychology of wearing great shoes, I must tell you about this website whose headline captured my attention:
You Can Judge 90 Percent of a Stranger’s Personal Characteristics Just by Looking at Their Shoes

It seems to be true! Psychologists say so. Well, the researchers at the University of Kansas said so! They found that people were able to correctly judge things like age, gender, income, political affiliation, emotional and other important personality traits just by looking at a stranger’s shoes. It seems ridiculous doesn’t it?? But … apparently not.

So what does this have to say about me wanting to wear only comfortable shoes? And what does this say about my nephew’s new bride wearing her bright green shoes when she married on Saturday? Granted, Deanne had the shoes hidden but they were there – like a tease – just in case she lifted her dress.

This snippet of information on the website on shoes and psychology gives me hope since retiring and becoming slovenly! It seems I may not care what others think anymore. Here is why:

“People with “attachment anxiety” or people who were most worried about their relationships generally had brand new and well-kept shoes. Researchers suggest that this may be because they worry so much about their appearance and what others may think of them.”

There is no danger of this happening for me folks! So, do shoes have as much POWER as the “Power of Shoes” people suggests? I don’t know but I have this funny feeling that shoes DO give you power – if you are needing to have power that is.

Deanne’s green wedding shoes

Perhaps Deanne, in choosing those bright green shoes, felt she was not giving away any of her power on her wedding day? She appeared to be conservative but underneath her gown, she was making a powerful statement about keeping her individuality!

And as for me with my comfortable shoes, I have to ask myself: am I settling for mediocrity instead of pushing myself to accept challenges despite the fact that I am getting older? Or am I just more comfortable within myself?

Who would have thought that by taking a whole heap of photos of great shoes at a wedding, one  could come to reassess one’s life … as well as fight against violence towards women?

It just goes to show folks, that having a shoe fetish is not  simply all ‘froth and bubble’ as one would think.

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