I have to make a confession: I am not feeling too bright today. I am tired and I just want to stop and smell the roses but as you know, life is pretty relentless and so I have kept on going.
I have had a coldy thing of some sort since I came home from Cabarita and it keeps on coming back and today I have finally succumbed. Oh no I don’t like this! But I have still come here to blog on – even if it is just to do my bit.
By the way, I am trying a new theme on my blog today. Let’s see how this one goes. I will choose between the two tomorrow for a new look from April 1st.
I wanted to share with you something I found online about being a parent the day I wrote my parenting blog but I had no room to fit it in. It is quite delightful (and a little interesting I might add) and I thought this would be a good time to share some of it.
It is a letter from the American comedian Tina Fey which was published in her autobiographical comedy book called “Bossypants.” I did not know much about Tina Fey but I found out she stars in the comedy 30 Rock – not sure where I have been hiding all this time not to know that – but I very rarely watch any of the comedies around these days. However, I am sure there are a lot of fans out there.
Tina had a daughter with her husband Jeff Richmond in September 2005 by the lovely name of Alice. I suppose this has qualified her to write about being a mother in the prayer that follows.
Her book was first published in 2008 and topped the New York Best Seller List for the next five weeks. Now it has come out in paperback form and so there is a whole lot of publicity surrounding it again. I am sure you will all enjoy reading this excerpt. Here is the letter:
A Mother’s Prayer for Her Child
“First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.
May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.
When the Crystal Meth is offered, may she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.
Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.
Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels. What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it.
May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.
Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen.Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.
O Lord, break the Internet forever, that she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.
And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that rubbish. I will not have it.
And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.
“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.”
A little bit out of left field but remember that Tina Fey IS a comedian!